These are the people in my neighborhood

I left my apartment today at 12:15 PM to take my mother to lunch and grocery shopping.
I returned at 2:15 PM.
I left again at 3:30 PM to go to church.
I returned at 5:15 PM.
I left again at 8:30 PM to go to Luanne's birthday party.
I returned at 1:15 AM.

According to weather. com, it is currently 85 degrees Fahrenheit, but it "feels like" 95. Earlier today, it certainly was much hotter.

Each time I left or returned to my apartment, my "next door neighbor" was standing outside, smoking a cigarette and talking on her cell phone.

I believe this means that the FBI has caught up with me at last. Luckily, it turns out they sent their most obvious agent.