I can't even read most of this article without giving myself a headache. I honestly can't grasp how "aulwaez" is perceived as easier to spell and/or pronounce and/or learn than "always" is.
At the top of the charts of the radio station in my brain is Come On, Eileen. However, a close second (due to catching too much of the Bridezillas marathon) is Godzilla. "Oh no, there goes Tokyo..."